Showing posts with label Believe in yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Believe in yourself. Show all posts

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Give the Gift of Confidence

Give the gift of confidence
When I am wavering in my confidence, a
change in perspective usually helps.
Here I am testing my confidence 300 feet
in the air on a rope bridge.
I have been working with a lot of people lately who are high achievers, amazing people and truly gifted and creative - and yet, they all suffer from the same affliction...ebbs and flows in their confidence.

It really is the human condition to be rolling along doing well and then wham! get hit over the head with a bout of second guessing, a trigger that takes our breath away or simply a moment when it is just hard to make a decision about what to wear. These lulls in confidence happen to all of us. The more prepared we are with a plan when we are confronted with low self-confidence, the faster we can get on with our lives.

Now, don't get me wrong, there may be a few individuals who are out there who don't ever struggle with a lag in confidence, but I haven't met them yet. It may just look a little different than second guessing, or apologizing for everything you say and do or crawling into your bed and remaining under your covers for an entire day.

Low moments in confidence can be reflected in angry conversations, withdrawal from situations or body language - we all have our various ways of revealing to the world that we ay not be feeling the best about ourselves in this moment.

The great news about this situation is that it is temporary and there are a wide variety of strategies for moving out of a low confidence experience...my book Up and Over: Boost Your Confidence is filled with practical everyday strategies to find your personal power...and it makes a great gift for graduates, employees and friends who are going through  a life transition.

Here's a strategy that will be included in the next edition - so have fun and try these 3 simple strategies when you are feeling a little low.

Feeling a little out of sorts?

Three simple strategies to boost your confidence:

  1. Walk yourself to a mirror and repeat 3 affirmations or kind things you have said to others today. Repeat the affirmations while looking at yourself in your eyes and tell yourself that you mean what you are saying.
  2. Act as if: The final chapter in Up and Over: Boost Your Confidence When There is None To Be Found shares strategies to "Fake It Until You Make It" and if you are struggling to believe yourself as you repeat these affirmation, you will need to just act as if you mean it.
  3. If you have not said 3 affirmations to others or kind words today - get out there and make that so immediately. Once you have completed that task - look yourself in the mirror and repeat Step #1.

Simple practical strategies to help you move forward. I look forward to hearing from you about what works for you - fill out the comment below or send me an e-mail. Let's share the gift of confidence with each other and brighten your day.


I would love to hear any of your suggestions, tips and ideas that have worked for you to help boost your confidence!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

What do you do when the going gets tough?

This reminder to breathe hangs in my office...
along with a little note from one of my daughters...thanks Shannon!
I am working on a fun project right now and would love to know what you do when the going gets tough? This picture reminds me to breathe and hangs in my office...and is my first go to strategy when things get tough...what is your go-to strategy? Comment below or e-mail me or post your strategy on @KathyStutzman. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Saturday, March 1, 2014

The Power and Responsibility of One


TEDx HoracePark, March 1, 2014
The Power and Responsibility of One.

Why patience is the most critical component in successful, sustainable poverty eradication efforts.
By Kathy Stutzman

Before I share with you a new paradigm for eradicating poverty I have a few questions for you…

I’d like you to take a moment to think of a pivotal time in your life, think about the person involved and the essence of what that person said or did that made it a pivotal moment…most people remember a time when someone believed in you more than you believed in yourself…Now I am going to ask you to think about the last time you were that person for someone else…

This new paradigm which was informed and inspired by a think tank I am part of…this new paradigm…gives us plenty of opportunities to believe in someone before they yet believe in themselves.

Now I know we all like to get big returns on our investments, so I am wondering why when we invest in poverty eradication efforts we are so willing to invest in projects instead of people? Why are we so willing to invest in building buildings instead of building skills? This new paradigm offers a sustainable method of investing our capital, our abundant wealth that will yield immeasurable returns.

Lest you think I am not talking to you, let me be clear…I am…the wealth wherever you are, is abundant. When investing our capital, I am talking about more than money; I am talking about developing and maintaining relationships while sharing resources – that’s our social capital. So how do we leverage that social capital, that abundant wealth that you have, that I have…to make a difference in the world?

I was in Ghana, West Africa recently helping to build the capacity of Street Girls Aid, an organization working with the 61,000 street children living, working and sleeping in the streets of Accra. 61,000 street children. That could be pretty overwhelming and instead we leveraged social capital in a way that is making a sustainable difference in the world, making a difference for those children…

I’m also working on a poverty eradication effort in Nicaragua, inspired by economist Jeffrey Sachs who in 2006 challenged us with this - “We are the first generation that not only has the capacity but the responsibility to end extreme poverty”.  Now that’s a challenge that I can get into especially knowing that 43% of the population in Nicaragua lives on less than $2/day. Of course I want to invest in eradicating poverty, but only if I know that my investment will make a meaningful difference…

And that’s where this gets tricky…of course I want to make a difference…but this new model of investing social capital in poverty eradication requires us to be bold and be patient – kind of like hurry up and wait…
I work with a lot of type A people…I might even be one myself…fixers, kind do-gooders who haven’t seen a problem that we can’t fix or solve, and we can McGyver our way out of any situation, sometimes even creating new problems to match our solutions…

And when faced with overwhelming challenges like 61,000 children living in the streets, or half of a country in poverty…it feels much better to be able to see immediate results - we dig wells, we build roads and homes because we can quickly see and measure the outcome of our actions…but to what end our investment?

Be bold... let’s hurry up and make a difference!! Be patient...STOP let’s think about how to do this right…let’s take the time to build relationships and invest in people and that all takes time…why does it take so much time?

Investing in people and relationships is not easy, nor is it a quick fix…actively believing in someone who does not yet believe in themselves takes patience, creating confidence takes practice, and dreaming about the possible infinite opportunities is NOT about fixing,  or problem-solving, or telling, it is about patiently listening and connecting.

In “Bridging the Class Divide” author Linda Stout suggests that people born into generational poverty have limited exposure to options outside of their experience…so when we work to create a framework for visioning, we have to believe in the capacity of all, understanding that not all been exposed to the same opportunities to articulate their dreams, or think about the future…and that takes time…

Last year I was facilitating a focus group in the US with parents in poverty with young children and reached the final question “do you have anything else that you would like to add…” and a young mom in the back jumped up and said “I want everyone to know that just because I am poor does not mean I am stupid

I keep that mom’s lesson in forefront of my mind at all times. When working to eradicate poverty, we need to humbly remember that the people with whom we are working are the experts, they know best…they are the experts of their realities and so who are we…who am I to impose my own strategic priorities on others???

All we are as investors of social capital are conduits, sharing resources, connecting people, providing opportunities to try and practice new skills and tools and then… we need to get out of the way and let the magic happen …without us.

This may well be the most difficult part for us in this new paradigm of eradicating poverty, yet until we are willing to be detached from the outcome, our efforts will not be sustainable.

It is a beautiful moment - when people gain confidence in their competence, are vested in their work and are realizing their dreams. I have seen it happen time and time again when it all comes together and a community says - we’ve got this, we can do this, we can make this happen…

People, relationships and dreams – that’s the new paradigm.
People, relationships, and dreams – that is where our sustainable investments lie.

As philanthropists with abundant wealth, with tons of social capital at our fingertips…we have within us the power to change the world.  We can invest in building relationships and capacity, we can create opportunities for others to dream and confidently move forward, or we can invest in others who will willingly put their sandals on the streets. The power and responsibility of changing the world lies in our hands…I know how I am investing my social capital…I invite you to consider investing your abundant wealth in people, relationships and dreams. Thank you.

Citations:
“The End of Poverty”, by Jeffrey Sachs
“Bridging the Class Divide”, by Linda Stout
“Census on Street Children in the Greater Accra Region, Ghana” Ghana 2011
“The Community Leadership Handbook” James Krile with Gordon Curphy and Duane R. Lund
The WHO data bank for Nicaragua
Random House Dictionary of the English Language (1981)

Resources:
www.KathyStutzman.blogspot.com

Kathy Stutzman TEDx HoraceAustin
BIO

Kathy Stutzman is a world citizen who is passionate about creatively connecting people around the globe. A consummate traveler, she has actively sought to build relationships and connect people around the world and within the United States.  After working in the non-profit sector for more than 25 years she now uses her experience in her consulting practice to build capacity within communities, organizations and businesses facilitating strategic planning and resource and skill development.  Her recent work in Nicaragua and Ghana informs much of her current practice.

An author, she has published 2 e-books; “One Hundred Days of Giving” and “From The Eye of The Hurricane”, publishes several blogs: www.MamaCarusoCooks.blogspot.com, a food and travel site, www.csksghana.blogspot.com, a site about her recent work in Ghana, www.onehundreddaysofgiving.blogspot.com and her professional site: www.KathyStutzman.blogspot.com.

Kathy recently hosted a series of public television shows for KSMQ TV, On Q Latitudes celebrating the cultures, tradition and heritage of people from other countries who live in our communities. Co-owner of Words Unlimited, a professional writing business, Kathy has authored countless articles, grants, and published works. Look for some of her more popular pieces at www.kathystutzman.blogspot.com.

A Rotarian for 23 years and an active community volunteer Kathy has a legacy of making connections, listening and helping make magic as she demonstrates the practice of her talk today. Be bold, be patient and believe in the capacity of others.

Ms. Stutzman received her undergraduate degree from the University of Colorado at Boulder, she has a Master’s Degree in Health and Human Services Administration from St. Mary’s University and a second Master’s degree in Management also from St. Mary’s.


Kathy currently resides in rural Minnesota and is proud of the contributions of her family within the world, her husband, Stan, daughters Alison and Shannon, son-in-law Ben and grandchildren Trillian and Harkr. You can learn more about Kathy’s passions, or to contact her to work with your group or organization visit www.kathystutzman.blogspot.com, on Twitter at @KathyStutzman, e-mail kastutzm@smig.net or find her on Facebook or LinkedIN - she’d love to hear from you.

Monday, August 26, 2013

How Do You Let Yourself Know You Believe in You?

Oprah said it so well during her recent interview with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live! When asked what her "ah ha" moment was, she talked about having to use the skills she had been promoting and sharing with all of us for so long...when she was being assailed by the media because OWN was not doing as well as she expected. When the rubber hits the road and things get tough - that is the time it takes work and digging deep to believe in yourself when it feels like no one else does...how do you "support" yourself, let yourself know that your believe in yourself when things get tough? I would love to know...

The world awaits...Kathy in Cambodia